A deep desire to be happy often includes a need to be 'liked' by others. Unfortunately, not everything that makes us happy will please others and the expectations of others may be in conflict with what brings us joy. We can learn to notice and dissolve our unhelpful people pleasing patterns. Our need to please may include limiting beliefs about what we are allowed to feel, be or do.

We can have our inner goodness mirrored to us by everything around us. Look through eyes of love at what it means to be an authentic being - who is loved, who makes others smile, who embodies love. Feel that presence of lightness. Notice - what does it actually take to be happy?

• We don't need to sacrifice our own well-being
• We don't need to manipulate perceptions about ourselves
• We don't need to guess what would make others like us
• We don't need to worry about meeting the supposed demands
• We don't need to pretend to feel something that we don't feel
• We don't need to experience stress, tension and anxiety
• We don't need to exert tremendous efforts to be liked
• We don't need to look to others to find out who we should be
• We don't need to engage any specific behaviour to please others
• We don't need to be the person that others want us to be
• We don't need to exhaust our executive functioning
• We don't need to be afraid that we will be unloved
• We don't need to tell white lies or give false smiles
• We don't need to settle for mediocrity at any level
• We don't need to seek approval or feel unworthy
• We don't need to put on a happy face for others
• We don't need to be or behave inauthentically
• We don't need to be afraid of being abandoned
• We don't need to earn the affection of others
• We don't need to make our own lives hard
• We don't need to be taxed at all levels
• We don't need to comply or agree
• We don't need to follow the rules
• We don't need to interrupt joy

While reading through the list below - pay attention to beliefs, thoughts and feelings that may arise. Lable any limiting beliefs or recurrent thoughts that perpetuate people-pleasing. When these thoughts or feelings arise, respond with kindness. Take a minute to embrace the feelings that accompany these thoughts. Create a pause and affirm: "I'm worthy of love, exactly as I am."

Turn eyes of love toward yourself and notice -

• I am good enough 
• I can be as I am
• I am OK as I am
• I can let go of judgement
• I can increase my willpower
• I can make my own decisions
• I can keep my integrity in tact
• I can reduce fear, stress, tension and anxiety
• My physical health and relationships can improve
• I can get in touch with my own needs and wants
• I can have many options and make my own choices
• I can increase connection with others
• I can partake in happiness boosting activities
• I can take the risk that people won't like me
• I can be tolerated and loved nevertheless
• I can uncover my real thoughts and feelings
• I can receive unconditional love
• I can have a genuinely good life
• I can be frank and unfrightened
• I can gain more ease and power
• I can reduce control fatigue
• I can practice gratitude 
• I can find my sweet spot
• I can be brave
• I can be free

More and more, we can notice and uncover our authentic selves.

• I allow gentle kindness
• I embrace fear and suffering
• I invite physical well-being
• I invite mental well-being
• I allow joy, happiness and freedom

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