When we worry and ruminate for a long time – in other words we ‘over-think’, we may engage with mental constructs of the future and past, as well as unhelpful comparisons and evaluations.

Thoughts and ideas about patterns.

In the ideal world, when we become aware of a need to act - we would proceed to act decisively, compassionately and mindfully, even as we eagerly step into the unknowns of our experiences.

Intentions come from inside. While setting our intentions, we are present. It connects us with a chosen direction. It inspires us to continue. It creates the conditions for things to happen or change. Intentions are rooted in reality. By setting an intention, we have already accomplished what we set out to do - we cannot fail. Intentions are supple. Intention is the seed of what we desire and therefor already posses. Our intentions guide and carry us.

Who are we without the story lines about difficulties from the past?

Some of our stories can make us feel resentful, sad, frustrated or ashamed. When we let go of these stories, when we stop identifying with them and when they no longer form part of our identities, we are at peace.

Feeling compassion for others does not mean we will relive stories about our difficulties. Being compassionate enables us to hold our boundaries through self-compassion and deal with the flow of events in a peaceful way.

By focusing on how good we are in comparison to others, the brain chemicals released are likely to make us feel very good. Over time, this can unfortunately contribute to a judgmental mind-set. Constantly judging to compare ourselves with others can stimulate anxiety, fear, anger, overwhelming stress responses or self-righteousness and may change our mind-set to one that lacks compassion for ourselves and others - a mindset that is out of touch with feelings and needs.

I thought of a way to explain emotional regulation to someone who is not familiar with the subject by using an analogy of cars. Imagine that emotions are little cars moving in our bodies - each car goes from their own unique point A (in time) to point B (in time).

It can be challenging to get over a crush, even when we realise it won’t work out and we really, really just want to get over it, but the crush can still continue to drag on and on for months or years.

Part of being human is having needs. The reality we face is that everyone has needs and we can expect to occasionally arrive at some kind of discord here and there when sometimes needs of others are not in line with ours.

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